The Quiet Void No One Talks About: Struggling with Contentment
Photo by MART PRODUCTION
I’ve been thinking a lot about that quiet emptiness we sometimes feel-the one that shows up even when everything in our lives seems “perfect.” Maybe your career is going well, your home feels settled, you’ve got a friend circle you love, and maybe even a dream trip on the calendar… and yet, something still feels missing.
Why the Quiet Void Persists
For many of us, the quiet emptiness persists because we compare our lives to others. I know I’ve done it myself, scrolling through social media or catching up with friends, feeling like maybe everyone else has it more together. And when I do, the emptiness gets louder.
Another thing I’ve noticed is the pressure to excel at everything. Career, relationships, family, self-care, travel, home life… we try to do it all. It can leave us feeling like nothing we do is enough. The pursuit of “A+” in every area often creates more stress than satisfaction.
The Myth of “Having It All”
We live in a culture that tells us we can have it all-and we should. But let me tell you, chasing that ideal can be exhausting. I’ve learned, and I want you to know, that contentment isn’t about doing everything or being perfect in all areas. It’s about figuring out what matters most to you right now and letting everything else take a backseat.
Whether you’re building your career, nurturing relationships, raising kids, or figuring out your next big life move, trying to excel at everything will never feel sustainable or fulfilling. The sooner we let go of this myth, the sooner we can actually feel content.
Reflect on Your Values
One of the best ways to start filling the quiet void is by getting really honest with yourself about what matters. Ask yourself:
Which parts of my life truly matter most right now?
Am I putting my energy into things that look good to others, rather than things that feel good to me?
What could I let take a backseat so I can focus on what aligns with my values?
I do this regularly, and it’s not always easy. Sometimes the quiet void is loudest when we’re ignoring what our hearts really want. But reflection is the first step toward realignment.
Focus on What Truly Matters
Once you know your values, it’s time to focus your energy intentionally. Instead of trying to be “A+” at everything, consider which few areas deserve your full attention and energy.
For me, this has meant choosing a few “A-level” priorities-family, meaningful work, and personal growth-and letting other things slide to B+ or even C+. It’s liberating. And the strange thing is I actually feel more accomplished and at peace when I do this. It’s amazing how freeing it is to let go of the idea that I need to excel at everything.
Let Go of Perfection
Perfectionism is a major culprit behind the quiet void. I’ve caught myself thinking, “If I just do a little more, plan a little better, achieve a little higher, I’ll finally feel satisfied.” But here’s the truth: contentment doesn’t come from perfection.
Accepting imperfection and giving yourself grace is essential. Appreciating what’s already present, instead of comparing it to some imagined “ideal,” creates space for emotional well-being and real fulfillment.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Contentment
Here are some things I do-and encourage my clients to do-to start filling the quiet void:
Reflect on Your Values – Write down 3–5 areas that matter most right now and prioritize your energy there.
Audit Your Energy – Notice where you’re overcommitting or doing things for appearances.
Set Boundaries – Give yourself permission to let some things take a backseat.
Practice Mindfulness – Observe when the quiet void appears. Name the feelings-emptiness, longing, frustration-without judgment.
Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge progress rather than chasing perfection.
Reduce Comparison – Limit social media or situations that make you feel like you’re falling behind. Focus on your journey.
Final Thoughts
The quiet void isn’t a flaw-it’s a signal. It’s telling you to pause, reflect, and realign with your values. Contentment isn’t about doing everything, having everything, or looking perfect. It’s about noticing what truly matters to you, focusing your energy there, and letting the rest take a backseat.
Take a moment today: What matters most in this season of life? Where can you give yourself permission to simply be enough and feel whole?
If you’ve been wrestling with discontentment and need a safe, professional space to talk through it, I invite you to reach out and schedule a session with me.