If you have ever caught yourself thinking, “I need to be a good partner, a good mom, a good friend, a good person,” only to instantly swallow your own needs, you are not alone.

For high-achieving women, being “good” often becomes tangled up with being endlessly available. So when people talk about boundaries in relationships and what they are or what they look like, your body might tense up. Maybe the concept feels foreign, or maybe it feels selfish.

Because for you, saying no does not feel like a boundary.It feels like disappointing someone.It feels like breaking an unspoken rule.It feels like you are doing something wrong.

That is the root of the struggle. Not the boundary itself, but what you learned it means about you.

Life changes rarely arrive neatly packaged. Sometimes they’re planned—new jobs, relationships, or moves you worked hard for. Other times they come unexpectedly, forcing decisions or endings you didn’t ask for. And often, they’re both exciting and unsettling at the same time.

Many women are surprised by how dysregulating transitions feel, especially when the change is something they wanted. On the outside, life may look fine. Internally, anxiety ramps up, sleep gets lighter, and it feels harder to stay grounded.