I’ve been thinking a lot about that quiet emptiness we sometimes feel-the one that shows up even when everything in our lives seems “perfect.” You know the feeling: maybe your career is going well, your home feels settled, you’ve got a friend circle you love, and maybe even a dream trip on the calendar… and yet, something still feels missing.

Do You Struggle With Feeling Like You’re Never Enough?

Self-compassion is finally having its moment — and honestly, it’s about time.

So many of the women I work with share a common struggle: the pull of self-criticism is powerful, constant, and exhausting. It’s there in the background while they wash dishes, walk the dog, or toss and turn at night. And it’s rarely random. More often, that inner voice is an echo — the sharp tone of a parent, the impossible standards of a boss, or the subtle (and not-so-subtle) cultural pressures to be everything to everyone, without ever messing up.

For some, the critic took root early as a survival tool: If I’m hard on myself first, no one else can get to me. Others absorbed it from the way caregivers spoke about themselves, learning perfectionism and shame like a second language. Then there’s the societal weight: be thinner, be more successful, be endlessly patient, keep up with everyone else — and never show weakness.

I’ve been that person.

I remember meeting up with a friend for lunch a few years ago, excited to catch up — but before the appetizers even hit the table, I had launched into a full emotional unload. I was overwhelmed, frustrated, and in need of connection. But by the end of the meal, I could feel it — the mood had shifted. I had dominated the conversation, and my friend looked emotionally drained.

That moment stayed with me. Not because I shared — we all need to — but because I realized I hadn’t even asked if she had the capacity to hold what I was about to drop. That lunch wasn’t mutual support; it was an unintentional therapy session. And she didn’t sign up for that.

When searching for a mental health therapist, it's easy to get caught up in the qualifications of the professional or the therapeutic modality they specialize in. One term that has gained significant attention in recent years is the concept of a holistic therapeutic approach.

You wouldn’t grab a swimsuit off the rack and head straight to the checkout without trying it on, nor would you purchase a car without taking it for a test drive. The same principle applies when searching for a therapist.